A quick laugh for 5 mins

> A quick laugh for 5 mins
> Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about
> what had happened in the past.
> Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> Teacher : Why?
> Student : There is no future in it.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> .
>
> Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
> much would your father still have?
> Ted : $10.
> Teacher : You don't know maths.
> Ted : You don't know my father!
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Mother : David, come here.
> David : Yes, mum?
> Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
> scolding you now.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> Father : So?
> Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said
> 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
> ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ..........
> ........
>
> A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
> watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
> breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her
> father.
>
> Daughter : It's mummy!
> Father : How do you know?
> Daughter : She didn't say anything.
> ............ ......... .......... .......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Girl: Do you love me?
> Boy: Yes Dear
> Girl: Would you die for me?
> Boy: No, mine is undying love
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Man: How old is your father?
> Boy: As old as me
> Man: How can that be?
> Boy: He became a father only when I was born
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
>
> Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
> your brother's. Did u copy his?
> Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
> anything!
> Son : That's why I say she's no good!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Teacher: "Where were u born?"
> Student: " Singapore , Sir."
> Teacher: "Which part?"
> Student: "All of me, Sir."
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
> A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
> and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
> "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a
> sick eagle."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
> Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
> Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
> Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
> Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> "What did u get?" asked his father.
> "My marks are under water," said the boy.
> "What do u mean 'under water'?"
> "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"