panel.sg

Monday, July 27, 2009

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

想笑又不想笑的笑话

想笑又不想笑的笑话-(1)
有三个好朋友,他们叫gaduh,gila,otak,一天gaduh失踪了,gila 和 otak 去警察局报警。。gila:"polis,saya nak cari gaduh ! "警察听了便问:"awak gila ke?"gila:"ya,saya gila"警察听了气疯了:"mana otak awak?"gila:"otak? 噢,otak diluar tunggu saya.."


----------------------------

想笑又不想笑的笑话-(2)
《鬼故事》有一个德士司机,每天晚上都经过一个坟场。有一个晚上,他经过坟场时,他看见一个全衣血淋淋的女生正在向他招手,吓得他心惊胆跳,加速飞车。第二个晚上,他又再次经过此坟场。这次的那个女生的衣服却是白色的。德士司机更加害怕,怕到脚都麻了。那女生向他走来:“请用top洗衣粉,保证能清除您衣物上所有的污迹!”
-------------------------------------




想笑又不想笑的笑话-(3)
老鼠问:“猫是否会爬树?”老鹰抢着回答:“会!”老鼠问:“你怎么知道?”老鹰含泪说:“当年的一个晚上,雷电交加,我睡着了, 突然猫爬上了树把我。。。。。强奸, 后来就有了猫头鹰!”

----------------------------


第一次做鸭!感觉不错
第一次做鸭!感觉不错人家说像我这长相的男人不应该做鸭子的。我长的不是很帅,身高也没什么优势,脸上没什么沧桑感,没有成熟男人的气质,更不是让女人一看到就有安全感的男人。不过我想,既然女人可以做鸡,男人为什么不可以做鸭子呢?!并不是没钱我才去做鸭子的,我只是想体验一下不一样的生活,为自己的人生增加一点新的色彩。所以今照下班以后,我去了那个地方。经过老板的热情介绍,我终于找到了合适的对象。她一个人静悄悄的在角落里,皮肤很白,估计是南方来的。头颈细细的,大腿条子很清爽的,看上去蛮丰满,也满有弹性的。我觉得比较满意,毕竟自己第一次做鸭子,总归要行好一点的,不能太随随便便了。她正好是我觉得还可以的一种类型。我很快就和老板谈好价钱,直接把她带回了家里。她看上去一点也没不好意思,我想她应该不是第一次了。她剥光了的身体比我想象当中更加健美,饱满额胸脯,屁股翘翘的。我本能的吞了一口口水。我是第一次面对这种情况,真的不知道应该怎么做。我先轻轻的把她翻过来,让她身体平躺,一只手捏她的胸部,一只手摸她的肚皮,她好像没什么反应,看上去蛮冷淡的。我只好东摸西摸,心里老急的,过了老半天,还是不知道怎么做好。然后我把她的两只脚分开,用手指头伸到她下面的洞里,里厢空荡荡的,有点干,不是想象当中湿答答的,手指头伸进去有点送,也没摸到什么东西。看来她的下面肯定被人家掏过了。她肚子里面被掏的清清爽爽, 内脏、肠子一类的东西全部被掏掉了。因为我是第一次做鸭子,没什么经验,实在没什么办法了,只好拿出了食谱。按照上面的方法,把她整只放进了锅子里,放了点调料,倒了点开水。半个钟头以后,熟了,哈香~没想到我第一次做鸭子就那么好吃!吃了以后,我就高高兴兴的来上网,写了个篇做鸭子的经历,和大家一起分享^_^

----------------------------------

家庭防盜 利害的老婆
上周一,公司派我去某市出差。剛住進賓館,我就接到了老婆的電話:“老公,大事不好。 今天咱們小區混進了幾個賊,咱家也被光顧了。” 我跳了起來,問:“丟東西了嗎?有沒有報警?” “家裏被翻得亂七八糟,衣櫥裏的1000塊錢沒了。還丟了什麼東西我正在清理,警察下午來看過了。”老婆聽出了我的焦急,趕緊安慰我:“好在那幾個賊已經被警察抓住了,現在讓各家儘快報失竊清單去。” 我鬆了一口氣,趕快命令老婆:“快去看看床頭掛的那張結婚照。畫框後面有一個用雙面膠粘住的紅包。”老婆擱下電話。 兩分鐘後,問:“我把畫框取下來看了,什麼也沒有。”如此神仙難料的地方都能找到,看來今天遇到的絕不是普通的蟊賊。我趕緊叫老婆再去衛生間看看:“馬桶水箱靠牆那面有個縫,塞了一個塑膠袋,你看看還有沒有。” 十分鐘後,老婆打來電話:“沒有,是不是你記錯了地方?” 我焦急地說:“不可能。出差前我還檢查過。整整4000塊錢,全是連號的百元新鈔。那是去年我從公司發給我發的技改獎裏扣下來的。” “就這些了嗎,還有沒有忘記的?”老婆在電話裏追問。 “沒有了,只有這6000塊錢。你一定要把那些錢的特徵跟警察講清楚。”我提醒老婆。 老婆冷笑道~~~~~~~~~ “好的。感謝你在本次家庭防盜演習中的出色表現。”我聽完差點兒暈過去。