10 ways to know if you've been in the corporate world too long:
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organise your family into a "team-based organization."
3. You refer to dating as test marketing.
4. You can spell "paradigm."
5. You actually know what a paradigm is.
6. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.
7. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
8. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
9. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "down-sizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's behinds."
10. You actually believe your explanation in number 9.
Whose bump is it anyway?
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the bump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my handphone."
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