10 ways to know if you've been in the corporate world too long:
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organise your family into a "team-based organization."
3. You refer to dating as test marketing.
4. You can spell "paradigm."
5. You actually know what a paradigm is.
6. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.
7. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
8. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
9. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "down-sizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's behinds."
10. You actually believe your explanation in number 9.

Whose bump is it anyway?
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the bump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my handphone."

Jokes :)

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES"..OK,BYE".
Sheturns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITHYOU.

3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

Girlfriends are appetizers.
Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy.
Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie.
Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation asCHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

Yesterday's A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Why do Indians talk non stop? guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.