lonely

Sometimes,

i feel lonely. i wish i found someone to confide with all my problems. my family problems, my army problems.

i am getting used to work in medical centre. but my skills as a medic is failing. i feel so stressed to do duties.

i have tried my best to drill the ideas into these people's minds. the need to keep the practices running.

my m'am don't want to let me go for the surgery. postponed to jan 10.

i have not been contacting my fren chuan. Tried smsing/calling - not answering.

i realised i have not been cherishing my friends around me. and i have not been contacting them. is it my fault? Haix.

My colleagues do not share the same vision and working style as me. is it my fault? i think i might have made them angry because i am too "on" and a super workerholic. I might have unknowingly made them unhappy because i 'opened' some closed wounds or problems. problems which were here long time ago were opened up and debated.

i agree that i might have made many medics unhappy with me or hate me. Is it too late to say sorry now? why i am facing so much problems is due to my character. but is honesty the best policy? Is telling my superior the trueful situation better than masking her by saying everything is fine?

in my workplace, i realised i keep dealing with ethics and principles when handling problems. should i not tell and tell my boss everything is fine? and motivate my men to solve the problems on my own? or should my boss also know about the problem and reprimand the men?

Solution 1 - tell her everything is fine but internally work out problem -
pros - men will not get a hefty scolding from her. work will be done.
cons - does not work with men who disagree with the procedure and thinks another procedure should be done. men may not work on the issue and problems pile.

Solution 2 - tell her what is going on.
pros - work will definitely get done. There will be bitterness though
cons - men will be unhappy with me. say i bautoh. say i spy. relationship sours.


there has been a lot of stories about me being the smpa, being her spy.

i am not her spy. and i do not report everything i see. i am also a nsf. i am not a regular. i am still getting the miserable pay. my seargeants - get fat pay. sometimes, i feel so envious.

HAIX