10 ways to know if you've been in the corporate world too long:
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organise your family into a "team-based organization."
3. You refer to dating as test marketing.
4. You can spell "paradigm."
5. You actually know what a paradigm is.
6. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.
7. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
8. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
9. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "down-sizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's behinds."
10. You actually believe your explanation in number 9.
Whose bump is it anyway?
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the bump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my handphone."
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Jokes :)
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES"..OK,BYE".
Sheturns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITHYOU.
3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.
Girlfriends are appetizers.
Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy.
Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie.
Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation asCHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
Yesterday's A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
Why do Indians talk non stop? guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES"..OK,BYE".
Sheturns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITHYOU.
3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.
Girlfriends are appetizers.
Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy.
Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie.
Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation asCHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
Yesterday's A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
Why do Indians talk non stop? guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
updates again.
Almost 3 mths in army! Oh my tian, that is considerably long! next 3 mths will be horror stories, and more siong training. Less physical training and more military training. I am so damn worried.
Many things happened. Joys and Sadness. It is just uncountable. Sadness tend to linger my mind for weeks. Joys seems to fly too fast.
Sometimes, I wish the commanders to let us off on certain issues.
102.6kg. still got a lot more to reach 75kg.
Many things happened. Joys and Sadness. It is just uncountable. Sadness tend to linger my mind for weeks. Joys seems to fly too fast.
Sometimes, I wish the commanders to let us off on certain issues.
102.6kg. still got a lot more to reach 75kg.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
update on my life
seriously... nothing very much changed la. except less hair, more exercise less weight, more discipline and more knock it downs.
apologies if you were looking for more beautiful entries containing my life.
The fact is that my life is so boring that i have nothing to blog ZZzzZzz...
And the things about the army stuff has been replaced by written journal. So it is relatively hard to re-write wad was written in journal. Army stuff is generally RESTRICTED content. So cannot discuss much either.
In terms of new folks I met. I now live with 12 other guys in the same room but not on the same bed. =)
I only lost 8 kg so far :( i still have 38 more kg to lose to reach my ideal weight :(
Don't worry. I am still the chubby fat Yi Da :)
apologies if you were looking for more beautiful entries containing my life.
The fact is that my life is so boring that i have nothing to blog ZZzzZzz...
And the things about the army stuff has been replaced by written journal. So it is relatively hard to re-write wad was written in journal. Army stuff is generally RESTRICTED content. So cannot discuss much either.
In terms of new folks I met. I now live with 12 other guys in the same room but not on the same bed. =)
I only lost 8 kg so far :( i still have 38 more kg to lose to reach my ideal weight :(
Don't worry. I am still the chubby fat Yi Da :)
Monday, June 16, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Finally... Graduation
mummy & me.
dana, kc, me
wanjun n me
kc, kokho, meWell. Have been busy with work. LAZY to update. Sorry bloggers if you miss my blog. zZzzz..
Saturday, May 17, 2008
A quick laugh for 5 mins
> A quick laugh for 5 mins
> Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about
> what had happened in the past.
> Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> Teacher : Why?
> Student : There is no future in it.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> .
>
> Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
> much would your father still have?
> Ted : $10.
> Teacher : You don't know maths.
> Ted : You don't know my father!
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Mother : David, come here.
> David : Yes, mum?
> Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
> scolding you now.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> Father : So?
> Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said
> 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
> ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ..........
> ........
>
> A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
> watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
> breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her
> father.
>
> Daughter : It's mummy!
> Father : How do you know?
> Daughter : She didn't say anything.
> ............ ......... .......... .......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Girl: Do you love me?
> Boy: Yes Dear
> Girl: Would you die for me?
> Boy: No, mine is undying love
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Man: How old is your father?
> Boy: As old as me
> Man: How can that be?
> Boy: He became a father only when I was born
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
>
> Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
> your brother's. Did u copy his?
> Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
> anything!
> Son : That's why I say she's no good!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Teacher: "Where were u born?"
> Student: " Singapore , Sir."
> Teacher: "Which part?"
> Student: "All of me, Sir."
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
> A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
> and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
> "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a
> sick eagle."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
> Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
> Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
> Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
> Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> "What did u get?" asked his father.
> "My marks are under water," said the boy.
> "What do u mean 'under water'?"
> "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"
> Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about
> what had happened in the past.
> Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> Teacher : Why?
> Student : There is no future in it.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> .
>
> Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
> much would your father still have?
> Ted : $10.
> Teacher : You don't know maths.
> Ted : You don't know my father!
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Mother : David, come here.
> David : Yes, mum?
> Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
> scolding you now.
> ............ .......... .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> Father : So?
> Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said
> 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
> ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ..........
> ........
>
> A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
> watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
> breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her
> father.
>
> Daughter : It's mummy!
> Father : How do you know?
> Daughter : She didn't say anything.
> ............ ......... .......... .......... ......... ......... .........
> ........
>
> Girl: Do you love me?
> Boy: Yes Dear
> Girl: Would you die for me?
> Boy: No, mine is undying love
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Man: How old is your father?
> Boy: As old as me
> Man: How can that be?
> Boy: He became a father only when I was born
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
>
> Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
> your brother's. Did u copy his?
> Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
> anything!
> Son : That's why I say she's no good!
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Teacher: "Where were u born?"
> Student: " Singapore , Sir."
> Teacher: "Which part?"
> Student: "All of me, Sir."
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
> A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
> and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
> "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a
> sick eagle."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
> Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
> Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
> Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
> Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> "What did u get?" asked his father.
> "My marks are under water," said the boy.
> "What do u mean 'under water'?"
> "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"
Monday, May 12, 2008
Proj Tut/ Volunteer Appreciation
awww... so cute!
edwin & ? (cannt rmbr his name)
jabsen's well decorated fries
Tecky: I have a confession to make to u (Shuxian)
what's up with him?:)
edwin with new tutor - melissa.Work & Career
sorry for lack of updates. its either i am too lazy to upload pics or too tired to do so. Also, my life has turned more routine lately, with the onset of my HR temp job.
Work has been busy, when I did a switch in my job scope from HRM to HRD. Also I have to cover some of the areas when the new lady arrived to cover my scope. It has been quite confusing as at this moment, I still cover some of the HRM tasks. and also event related tasks like my company's upcoming family day. I feel so rich because I got so much money! LOL.
Next week, I will be busy in getting my graduation gown and the excitement over graduation 2008. Although I did not get into NTU, I believe it is still not the end of story. SIM, here i come! and UOL here I come!
I have been reading up on ACCA and how it works. I am very torn between studying ACCA straight all the way after army or study a full time degree before taking up acca. to get acca, i need 3 yrs of relevant working experience. meaning I need about 5-6 yrs to get my accounting qualification.
Getting a degree is more expensive. However, if I have a bachelors' degree, it may be a more secure choice since I can work and start an accounting related job. Having a dip. in business studies is quite vague and its very hard to get an accounting related job, unless the company is willing to train me.
Haiz. i am just so confused.
Work has been busy, when I did a switch in my job scope from HRM to HRD. Also I have to cover some of the areas when the new lady arrived to cover my scope. It has been quite confusing as at this moment, I still cover some of the HRM tasks. and also event related tasks like my company's upcoming family day. I feel so rich because I got so much money! LOL.
Next week, I will be busy in getting my graduation gown and the excitement over graduation 2008. Although I did not get into NTU, I believe it is still not the end of story. SIM, here i come! and UOL here I come!
I have been reading up on ACCA and how it works. I am very torn between studying ACCA straight all the way after army or study a full time degree before taking up acca. to get acca, i need 3 yrs of relevant working experience. meaning I need about 5-6 yrs to get my accounting qualification.
Getting a degree is more expensive. However, if I have a bachelors' degree, it may be a more secure choice since I can work and start an accounting related job. Having a dip. in business studies is quite vague and its very hard to get an accounting related job, unless the company is willing to train me.
Haiz. i am just so confused.
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